Uggh... why do people date? It sucks!
Nonetheless, it's a necessary evil... like paying taxes or saying "that's the cutest baby ever!" when your best friend gives birth to the Crypt Keeper.
Like I said... you can't avoid it. It must be done.
And I've been doing it.
Get ready for some delicious dishes...
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Friday, July 15, 2011
There's a reason no one ever says "You're driving me apples!"
The following is the actual email I sent to this nut-job I went out with only ONCE prior to the evening in question below. After what was already a bad day, I realized said guy had exaggerated his position in his company, and when I called his bluff, he freaked. I said "well thanks for coming up!" and he stormed out... and a ridiculous amount of bi-polar texts ensued. This was my response to the insanity. You might notice that I sway between firmly letting him know he should be committed... and trying to keep it somewhat nice and positive so he doesn't actually go nuts and hurt/kill me or something!?!? (Prior to things going awry, he had told me that he carried a concealed gun at all times. Hmm... that should've been a red flag - but we already know I tend to be colorblind sometimes...)
*Names have been changed to protect me from the psychotic.
***
***
Dear Crazy-Guy-Who-Freaked-Out-When-I-Cut-the-Evening-Short,
I am so sorry you feel that I "treated you like s--- after you bought me dinner and everything" (a dinner that I offered to pay for, fyi - so...) and I'm sorry that you feel I "owe you an answer" or owe you anything, really.... First of all, dating is not quid pro quo... so, thank you again for dinner... but that is all I "owe" you.
So… not that I owe you an explanation at all... nor, at this point, do I really care what you think about me - because, clearly, the damage is done. But... continuing to send multiple paradoxical text-demands for an explanation AFTER you had told me to "lose your number" and called me "f---ing nuts", etc etc.... I really didn't see the point in dragging anything on? You GOT the last word. You made your point. And I agreed. I'm not sure what else you were hoping for?!? How many other ways can I say "you were right" and "I was wrong" and "yes, I am probably missing out on a good thing".... I AGREE.... Were you hoping I wouldn't?!?! (that's kind antagonism seems a little odd...)
And just a little side note, my mom called during your little unanswered text-rant, so, I couldn't text you back at the same time. (Although, I probably wouldn’t have responded anyway…)
Obviously, I made a bad choice in not cancelling our plans tonight in the first place. I should have realized that two hours of sleep in two days, being in a ridiculous amount of pain, and then dealing with not only the regular stresses of my life - owning/running a business, working another job, AND going to grad school, but the new federal/state violations I just realized I was facing and the deadlines I am facing tomorrow..... that, perhaps, tonight was probably not a good time to hang out. BUT... I really liked you.... and I thought it would be a good distraction.... and I thought you might've understood some of the things I was dealing with... So, for that err in judgment, again, I’m sorry.
However, not only was tonight's meeting a case of bad timing... I felt like it was a huge miscommunication - like we were speaking two different languages. And while I’m sure NEITHER of us wanted to talk about work… it’s hard not to, and I actually thought that would’ve been something we would’ve bonded about… but when I would even mention SOMETHING related to work - you dismissed it as "someday you'll learn to...." Ummmm.... yeah.... that's when I got on the defensive. I never belittled your job, nor did I ever say that I was "better than you". In fact, I believe I said I was JEALOUS of you (because I AM). BUT it did appear that you tried to assert your business-owner expertise by saying that I just "didn't get it yet" as you've been doing this for 15 years....
(Which…. Let’s do the math here…. 15 years ago, I believe you were 15. Were you a partner at that point? My guess is that you probably just worked there as an employee - being that you were 15.... so.... um… I’ve been teaching dance since I was 13 – that’d be going on 17 years now.... So, I guess, by your “logic”, I would be slightly more qualified, right? *Not that I’m trying to one-up you – that’s not my intention – I just kind of want to illustrate the futility of that argument.*)
So, yeah, now here's my defense.... my "explanation". Because I tried to just admit that I was wrong, but you seem to want more than that? I guess you feel you need to put me in my place or something? (Which I'm really not sure why... other than to just be hurtful) But nonetheless, here ya go.... these are the FACTS - these are NOT opinions. However, if I did get something wrong, please accept my deepest apologies....
YOUR FACTS: It is my understanding, from what you have told me, that you are a part-owner of a business. You. And your father. Run a (family) business.... TOGETHER. You do not make EVERY decision by yourself (although I am sure you do, indeed, make a ridiculous amount of decisions alone). Essentially, it sounds to me, like YOU are the COO (Chief Operations Officer) and your dad is the CFO (Chief Financial Officer). Should you ever have a question, need a second opinion, etc.... you are both there for each other as the company is more or less a partnership – under dual-control. BOTH of you have a VESTED interest in the success of your company.
Now, please understand that we are not comparing apples to apples. We’re not in the same industry, so, for arguments sake, please forgive any technical inaccuracies as far as the comparison is concerned. Here are the facts of MY business:
MY FACTS: I am a sole-proprietor of my business. I am the COO, the CFO, and any "joint decisions" that need to be made... I make... alone. There is no one else with a vested interest in my company (ie. if it fails, no one is really affected other than me). When I first started, I was the owner, the director, the teacher of all the classes, the marketing manager, the janitor, the secretary, the "insert-any-job-necessary-to-make-a-business-successful-here". And as of last year, it's true, I DO have employees who teach some of the classes - as I cannot literally teach in two rooms at the same time. (I believe this would be similar to the fact that you have employees who do embroidery, etc.) But.... when it all comes down to it.... E-V-E-R-Y decision made at my company is completely and utterly mine – from deciding which brand of paper towels to buy or how far I’m willing to go in a lease negotiation. Yay. At this point, while the business is very successful, it is still a small, privately-owned company and, unfortunately, it is not cost-effective (or really in the budget right now) to have someone else oversee the business-side of things - nor am I in the position to be able to give up teaching as THAT is what I love most and was how my studio became success – the “hot-selling item” in my business is one of my classes… I actually did lose some business this year when someone didn’t “get me as a teacher”. (Nice for the ego – bad for business). :-)
But what can I do? I am the alpha and the omega as far as my business is concerned. There is literally nothing I wish for more in this world than for that NOT to be the case. I love my family, but they are not involved in my business - they do not know my industry - and any question/concern I have is usually dismissed with "it's YOUR business, figure it out".... yep... that's what I do. So I guess that's why it seems most of my closest friends are SBOs like myself – we just “get” each other. And when you said you were one, I was pumped - because Small Business Owners are a rare breed... and not many people really know all the blood, sweat, and tears that go into entrepreneurship, unless they have lived it....
I guess I just thought we were on the same page…. that I met a nice guy who “gets” the whole craziness that comes with owning a business….So when, out of curiosity, I asked what your role in the partnership entailed, it started to become evident that you might not be involved with the areas we were talking about… and all the once-inspiring “someday you’ll learn” stuff – became wildly patronizing. I was really hurt. Originally, I really DID was hoping for your advice (or at the very least, a “yeah, that’s gotta suck” type of support). I honestly thought you were advising me from personal experience, and I respected that. But, apparently, I was wrong…
So, in the future, before you go dismissing someone’s livelihood so condescendingly… I’d suggest you’d better make sure you know what you’re talking about, because… YOU and I are bananas and apples, baby…. we might both be fruit, but we are NOT the same.
And it would have been perfectly okay if you WERE a banana…. I like bananas.
I can imagine that when you came on as a partner, you helped your dad make the company the success it is today! I’m absolutely certain you rock at everything you do there – and I’m sure your dad was stoked that he didn’t have to go it alone anymore! (And is now able to “write checks and go on the boat” as I’m sure that wasn’t always the case – hopefully, in a couple of years, I’ll have someone to help share the load so I can take a little cruise around the harbor as well) J
Ultimately, whether or not you thought I was making excuses or whatnot, the reality is, I gave you a disclaimer… I wasn’t feeling good tonight… and when you don’t feel good, you’re extra sensitive. Everyone is…. That’s not me-specific. While, to you, my job may seem trivial or that it’s “just a job”…. please know, I am living out a childhood dream. I’ve been dancing for 27 years… it isn’t just my job, or my dream, or my life….. It’s me... I pour every ounce of myself into that “job.”
And, maybe, you feel the same about your business? Maybe not. I don’t know. But, with that all being said, I hope you can see why I might have felt offended and felt that it was best to just cut the night short…
I did the cutting. And I apologized. You wanted an explanation… and you got it. I really DO think you are a great guy – I just think this was a MAJOR case of bad-timing and miscommunication and misunderstanding….
So again… I’m sorry…
-K.
***
His response:
That whole thing must just be a rant I don't know for sure because I did not read it. Loose my number and forget my name and leave me alone
***
Done and done.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sequence of Events... (advice needed, please!)
So, rather than reminisce about some dating story from yesteryear... let's revisit the events of the last week or so, shall we?
As you can tell from one of my my latest postings, there were a couple of somewhat current situations beginning to come to fruition (or not).
To recap, Guy C (hamburger), was my BTN (better-than-nothing) for the time-being... and then along came Guy D (the filet). And I was all about getting me some filet. In fact, I equated him to Brett which is kind of a big statement on my part. And then... the strangest sequence of events unfolded.
Now, I'm no stranger to the disappearing-guy act. What was new to me, is the disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-guy act. It's weird. And I don't get it.
Let's just say, last weekend was intense. I believe the term "butterflies" was used. By him. And then, when asked "when can I see you again?" (on multiple occasions, I might add), the non-committal, don't-want-to-scare-guys-away answer came out of my mouth each time I was asked... "yeah, just give me a call..."
(Which in hindsight, I guess kind of sounds like the polite blow-off - considering, I've definitely used that line in 'polite blow-off' scenarios before). But I wasn't trying to do the 'polite blow-off' - quite the opposite - I was trying not to come off too eager (since that's never really worked for, well, anyone but Brett - and frankly, it didn't work for him at first either).
So, when I got home from the marathon date - I sent him a text referencing the fact that, I, too, had butterflies.
And then... radio silence.
On Monday morning I received a new, unrelated text from Guy D, asking if I'd had a chance to check out this music site he told me about... I said that I hadn't had a chance yet. And again... radio silence (but then again, my answer wasn't really all that thought-provoking).
Ok, so now it's Wednesday... and Mr. Eager-to-Make-Plans-at-First, has yet to try for those plans again... Hell, he hasn't even tried to even say hi!
By now, every scenario is playing in my head including the ridiculous "He's Just Not That Into You" crap that 'he's the rule - and not the exception'. (Thanks, Greg Behrendt) But, seriously... even my best guy friend has told me a million times over that nothing would stop him from talking to a girl he considered butterfly-inducing. So, what gives?
I consult The Oracle. And, I send him a text:
Me: Hope your week is going fabulously :-) Are you around this evening so I could give you a call? I'm going through mil withdrawals after ODing on you this weekend :-) (best OD ever haha)
*side note: I was planning on calling him that night (instead of texting) but I was in a pretty stoked
mood (thanks to some work stuff - which he had given me some advice about) and so I was
half-hoping once he got said text, he might initiate a little more of a convo, or call me during his
lunch break, or at least something to feed the high I was on....
Him: I am having a tough week I'll tell you about it later though
Me: So, in that case I'll let you call me if/when u want :-) Hope your week gets better!
*I didn't want to seem pushy!?!
Ok... so that was that. But Guy C did send me an email (the ever-classy way of contacting a girl you like) asking what my plans were this weekend. I held off on responding as I was hoping Guy D was going to fill a good chunk of it. ;-)
And then Thursday morning I get yet another random, unrelated text from Guy D: "Happy St. Patty's Day, are you wearing green?"
Me: I am not :-( Are you? Having a better day? :-)
Him: No. Actually worse today. I have a threshold of around 5 or 6 and currently have 7 'immediate attention items' on my plate. I want to go drink green stuff. How's your day going?
Me: (insert quick work recap here and then...) You sound stressed... you know what I think would help? Hanging out with a beautiful 'blogger' :-) (although I replaced 'blogger' with my day-job).
Him: :-)
....and that was it. No response to my half-offer. Nothing. So I bit the bullet and called him. And left a message. (not a good sign...) And I shot a response email to Guy C that as of now, I didn't have plans... if he wanted to get together.
But... he did call back later. (Yay!) And after some general BS chit-chat, it sounded like he was about to hang up. So I asked him flat out, "I'm not sure if I gave the wrong signal the other night when you kept asking to make plans, and I told you to call me. But, I meant... yeah... I do... CALL ME! So, did you want to hang out again?"
Him: Yeah. I could come out your way.
Me: Ok! Great! When?
Him: (and I'm paraphrasing here because this was a literal conversation and not a text I can refer back to) Well, you have to ask me out.
Me: Umm... ok. Do you want to go out on Saturday?
Him: Yeah! I was just trying to play it cool. I'm not sure about Saturday though... I'll let you know tomorrow.
Me: (Half-joking) Are you waiting for a better offer to come in?! :-)
Him: No... I just might have a work thing. (That he didn't know about... that might just be scheduled for a Saturday night. Yep, sounds likely, but I'll go with it.) I'll let you know tomorrow.
End of Thursday night conversation.
So Friday morning rolls around... and I get the text:
Him: Hey I'm going to be *away* entertaining Saturday evening. :-(
Me: :-( Are you around Sunday?
Him: Later in the evening I am.
Me: Ok, so Sun night, then? :-) I can come your way if you want (sounds like you're doing a lot of driving this weekend haha)
End of Friday conversation. Please note that it ends with an unanswered question. And we still do not have actual "plans" for Sunday.
Now, Saturday, (which is the day right before Sunday for those of you not in front of a calendar) rolls around and I have not heard from him yet as to what's going on Sunday. Should I go there? Is he coming here? Do we have a time?
So I call him. Voicemail - yay. (And his VM message is mildly ironic because it actually says to send a text if you want an immediate response - haha... guess I'll take my chances with the voicemail.) And I say, very breezy-like (thanks, Monica) "Hey, was hoping to catch you before your work thing, but I guess I missed you. Just seeing what time you were thinking for tomorrow? Let me know, so I can plan accordingly! Have fun tonight!"
Which brings us to the present day (well, technically, yesterday). Sunday: No calls. No texts. Nothing. Not even from Guy C! (What is going on!?!?) I again consult The Oracle. I ask whether it's better to call him out or not to waste my breath on him... She says to rip him a new one. I find a nice middle ground...
Here's my final voicemail to Guy D (because obviously, he didn't answer the phone):
"Hey, it's K. I hope you're ok... or that you find your phone eventually. Because I'd like to think that one of those is the reason I haven't heard from you. Because I believe you are better guy than to give me the brush-off like this. Like I said, I thought you were a great guy - and I thought we kinda had plans. And I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but my gut tells me you are blowing me off. I hope I'm wrong, but I think I'm probably right - so I just wanted to let you know that if I am right. That's a really rotten thing to do to someone. So good luck with everything.... Bye."
So... now I reach out to you, readers, what the hell happened here?!?! Why, if he wasn't interested, would he even bother making plans in the first place? I gave him plenty of opportunities to blow me off before actual plans even came into play. Even after... when the work thing made him cancel Saturday - that would've been a perfect opportunity to pull a "things are crazy at work right now, I'll call you next week" or some lame, but still obvious blow-off like that. But, no, instead he actually agrees to my Sunday plans. But then doesn't follow through.
Why agree to the Sunday option? What kind of game is this? And aren't we adults?!?
Speaking of this... I know I wasn't super-interested either, but, regardless... Guy C... were you just taking a survey?!? Or did you want to know what I was up to this weekend in order to go out with me at some point?
Ok, readers, what's your take? What am I missing here?
UPDATE - Monday Morning...
So I just got a text.... (classy way to respond btw).... "Hey I got all your messages, sorry I didn't call back. It was bad reception, bad timing, and yesterday at funspot with bobby I started feeling pretty crappy and went to sleep when I got home. Still feelin it today a little"
Again, so we're clear "ALL my messages" was actually only TWO in a span of 3 days - the first regarding the half-assed plans, and the second to tell him where to go and how to get there.
Pretty much equivalent to stalking, I can imagine.
As you can tell from one of my my latest postings, there were a couple of somewhat current situations beginning to come to fruition (or not).
To recap, Guy C (hamburger), was my BTN (better-than-nothing) for the time-being... and then along came Guy D (the filet). And I was all about getting me some filet. In fact, I equated him to Brett which is kind of a big statement on my part. And then... the strangest sequence of events unfolded.
Now, I'm no stranger to the disappearing-guy act. What was new to me, is the disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-guy act. It's weird. And I don't get it.
Let's just say, last weekend was intense. I believe the term "butterflies" was used. By him. And then, when asked "when can I see you again?" (on multiple occasions, I might add), the non-committal, don't-want-to-scare-guys-away answer came out of my mouth each time I was asked... "yeah, just give me a call..."
(Which in hindsight, I guess kind of sounds like the polite blow-off - considering, I've definitely used that line in 'polite blow-off' scenarios before). But I wasn't trying to do the 'polite blow-off' - quite the opposite - I was trying not to come off too eager (since that's never really worked for, well, anyone but Brett - and frankly, it didn't work for him at first either).
So, when I got home from the marathon date - I sent him a text referencing the fact that, I, too, had butterflies.
And then... radio silence.
On Monday morning I received a new, unrelated text from Guy D, asking if I'd had a chance to check out this music site he told me about... I said that I hadn't had a chance yet. And again... radio silence (but then again, my answer wasn't really all that thought-provoking).
Ok, so now it's Wednesday... and Mr. Eager-to-Make-Plans-at-First, has yet to try for those plans again... Hell, he hasn't even tried to even say hi!
By now, every scenario is playing in my head including the ridiculous "He's Just Not That Into You" crap that 'he's the rule - and not the exception'. (Thanks, Greg Behrendt) But, seriously... even my best guy friend has told me a million times over that nothing would stop him from talking to a girl he considered butterfly-inducing. So, what gives?
I consult The Oracle. And, I send him a text:
Me: Hope your week is going fabulously :-) Are you around this evening so I could give you a call? I'm going through mil withdrawals after ODing on you this weekend :-) (best OD ever haha)
*side note: I was planning on calling him that night (instead of texting) but I was in a pretty stoked
mood (thanks to some work stuff - which he had given me some advice about) and so I was
half-hoping once he got said text, he might initiate a little more of a convo, or call me during his
lunch break, or at least something to feed the high I was on....
Him: I am having a tough week I'll tell you about it later though
Me: So, in that case I'll let you call me if/when u want :-) Hope your week gets better!
*I didn't want to seem pushy!?!
Ok... so that was that. But Guy C did send me an email (the ever-classy way of contacting a girl you like) asking what my plans were this weekend. I held off on responding as I was hoping Guy D was going to fill a good chunk of it. ;-)
And then Thursday morning I get yet another random, unrelated text from Guy D: "Happy St. Patty's Day, are you wearing green?"
Me: I am not :-( Are you? Having a better day? :-)
Him: No. Actually worse today. I have a threshold of around 5 or 6 and currently have 7 'immediate attention items' on my plate. I want to go drink green stuff. How's your day going?
Me: (insert quick work recap here and then...) You sound stressed... you know what I think would help? Hanging out with a beautiful 'blogger' :-) (although I replaced 'blogger' with my day-job).
Him: :-)
....and that was it. No response to my half-offer. Nothing. So I bit the bullet and called him. And left a message. (not a good sign...) And I shot a response email to Guy C that as of now, I didn't have plans... if he wanted to get together.
But... he did call back later. (Yay!) And after some general BS chit-chat, it sounded like he was about to hang up. So I asked him flat out, "I'm not sure if I gave the wrong signal the other night when you kept asking to make plans, and I told you to call me. But, I meant... yeah... I do... CALL ME! So, did you want to hang out again?"
Him: Yeah. I could come out your way.
Me: Ok! Great! When?
Him: (and I'm paraphrasing here because this was a literal conversation and not a text I can refer back to) Well, you have to ask me out.
Me: Umm... ok. Do you want to go out on Saturday?
Him: Yeah! I was just trying to play it cool. I'm not sure about Saturday though... I'll let you know tomorrow.
Me: (Half-joking) Are you waiting for a better offer to come in?! :-)
Him: No... I just might have a work thing. (That he didn't know about... that might just be scheduled for a Saturday night. Yep, sounds likely, but I'll go with it.) I'll let you know tomorrow.
End of Thursday night conversation.
So Friday morning rolls around... and I get the text:
Him: Hey I'm going to be *away* entertaining Saturday evening. :-(
Me: :-( Are you around Sunday?
Him: Later in the evening I am.
Me: Ok, so Sun night, then? :-) I can come your way if you want (sounds like you're doing a lot of driving this weekend haha)
End of Friday conversation. Please note that it ends with an unanswered question. And we still do not have actual "plans" for Sunday.
Now, Saturday, (which is the day right before Sunday for those of you not in front of a calendar) rolls around and I have not heard from him yet as to what's going on Sunday. Should I go there? Is he coming here? Do we have a time?
So I call him. Voicemail - yay. (And his VM message is mildly ironic because it actually says to send a text if you want an immediate response - haha... guess I'll take my chances with the voicemail.) And I say, very breezy-like (thanks, Monica) "Hey, was hoping to catch you before your work thing, but I guess I missed you. Just seeing what time you were thinking for tomorrow? Let me know, so I can plan accordingly! Have fun tonight!"
Which brings us to the present day (well, technically, yesterday). Sunday: No calls. No texts. Nothing. Not even from Guy C! (What is going on!?!?) I again consult The Oracle. I ask whether it's better to call him out or not to waste my breath on him... She says to rip him a new one. I find a nice middle ground...
Here's my final voicemail to Guy D (because obviously, he didn't answer the phone):
"Hey, it's K. I hope you're ok... or that you find your phone eventually. Because I'd like to think that one of those is the reason I haven't heard from you. Because I believe you are better guy than to give me the brush-off like this. Like I said, I thought you were a great guy - and I thought we kinda had plans. And I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but my gut tells me you are blowing me off. I hope I'm wrong, but I think I'm probably right - so I just wanted to let you know that if I am right. That's a really rotten thing to do to someone. So good luck with everything.... Bye."
So... now I reach out to you, readers, what the hell happened here?!?! Why, if he wasn't interested, would he even bother making plans in the first place? I gave him plenty of opportunities to blow me off before actual plans even came into play. Even after... when the work thing made him cancel Saturday - that would've been a perfect opportunity to pull a "things are crazy at work right now, I'll call you next week" or some lame, but still obvious blow-off like that. But, no, instead he actually agrees to my Sunday plans. But then doesn't follow through.
Why agree to the Sunday option? What kind of game is this? And aren't we adults?!?
Speaking of this... I know I wasn't super-interested either, but, regardless... Guy C... were you just taking a survey?!? Or did you want to know what I was up to this weekend in order to go out with me at some point?
Ok, readers, what's your take? What am I missing here?
UPDATE - Monday Morning...
So I just got a text.... (classy way to respond btw).... "Hey I got all your messages, sorry I didn't call back. It was bad reception, bad timing, and yesterday at funspot with bobby I started feeling pretty crappy and went to sleep when I got home. Still feelin it today a little"
Again, so we're clear "ALL my messages" was actually only TWO in a span of 3 days - the first regarding the half-assed plans, and the second to tell him where to go and how to get there.
Pretty much equivalent to stalking, I can imagine.
Friday, March 18, 2011
A Sense of Humor is a Must!
You know you have one eye set a little bit higher than your other eye?' 'No, I didn't know that.' He goes, 'It's no big deal; it doesn't affect your vision or anything. I just thought you might want to be self-conscious for the rest of your life.'
Hey, Brian Regan.... I think I've dated your eye doctor... or at least someone who studied at the BR School of "Things I could've gone a lifetime without knowing... so, thanks for pointing them out!"
Hey, Brian Regan.... I think I've dated your eye doctor... or at least someone who studied at the BR School of "Things I could've gone a lifetime without knowing... so, thanks for pointing them out!"
God, I wish I knew what this was referring to....
My life is an experiment in bad decisions. One of them may be made tomorrow.
*The above was saved as a draft on 9/23/10.... I have no idea what it was in reference to :-)
(which makes it all the more intriguing...)
*The above was saved as a draft on 9/23/10.... I have no idea what it was in reference to :-)
(which makes it all the more intriguing...)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"Long Time, No Blog" or "How I Spent the Past Four Months"
One of my foxy friends reminded me a few months back that it'd been quite some time since I'd last posted. I was concerned I was beginning to sound a bit jaded, if not bitter. And, frankly, to continue the blog and rehash old dating stories would pretty much have confirmed said bitterness.
Well... to be honest... I was a little, no, wait... a LOT bitter after the last guy. So much, in fact, that I began a "dating hiatus" to last for a period of 18 weeks.
There are currently TWO weeks left of said hiatus.
Considering it a personal triumph, I made it all the way to the New Year before I found myself involved with a boy. (And that was in international waters - so it doesn't count! Hey! My story - my rules.) Since then, I have been out with four different guys - none of which I have counted as impeding on the self-imposed dating break.
But not for lack of wanting to. Even International Waters Guy. There was even a piece of me that thought maybe even he could be something... But, alas, that is the hopeless romantic in me. The naive girl who, deep down, really does want to believe that, eventually, one of these first dates will become my last. However, THAT part of me... is pretty frickin' buried - because, the rest of me... always has one foot out the door...
So I guess we'll begin with IWGuy. He was "my type" and if you know anything about my "type", then you know that I pretty much date identical guys, physically speaking. I'm not exaggerating either. They're all long-lost brothers or something, I swear. God bless my family and friends for even pretending to think they're not all the same person! (The sad part is that I didn't start dating that "type" until Jim. Grrr. Prior to him, I was an equal-opportunity dater.)
So, yeah, anyway, back to IWGuy.
Cute? Check.
Personality? Fabulous.
Fatal flaw? Georgia-bound. Which is apparently enough for me to write him off completely, even though he seemed to hope (and try) otherwise.
Where have I heard this before? The Brit. (Ooh! Another story I should share soon!)
Then there was Guy A (mid-January)
Cute? Check. But, sooooooo not my type! (Perhaps this is a good thing?!?!)
Personality? Amazing. What didn't we talk about!?
Fatal flaw? Wanderlust. The 'not my type-ness'. Either one.
Where have I heard this before? The New Guy (Who should hence-forth be known as The Tool. Or maybe by his real name... because some people should not have the privilege of anonymity.)
Guy B (circa Valentine's)
Cute? Check. Totally my type.
Personality? The female version of me. (Don't worry, you read that correctly. I said female. And I consider myself very feminine.)
Fatal flaw? (see personality)
Where have I heard this before? High school boyfriend, Stan.
Guy C (end of Feb/currently???)
Cute? Check. In a 'not totally my type, but I'm sure everyone else would think he was/is' sort of way.
Personality? Foreign. Need I say more?
Fatal flaw? (see Guy D)
Where have I heard this before? Mr. Perfect
Guy D (most current... in theory.)
Cute? Check plus!. ;-)
Personality? Amazing. (Who knew that sweet and nice could describe someone I'D like!?!)
Fatal flaw? Newly single.
Where have I heard this before? The Minister. (Good lord, I've got to catch you all up!!)
The long and short of it is... I am 99% sure Guy D will replay The Minister's scenario... and I can't fall back to Guy C (as there was no going back to Mr. Perfect after Brett. Or for those of you too lazy to look back, who would want a hamburger after having filet mignon? Even if that hamburger did have a ridiculously sexy accent... yum.)
So, yes, fellow Advil-ODers, it may sound like I am just super-jaded and am looking for flaws so as not to get attached. But, seriously, EVERY scenario has happened to me before. None of this is new! (ummm.... note to self: STOP DATING - you're starting to repeat stories!) It would be one thing if I am comparing every situation to one stupid guy who broke my heart way-back-when... Or if I am comparing them to mythical friend-of-a-friend stories I heard third-hand... But, no. This is old hat.
It seems like the guys I meet lately are just SSDP - same situation, different pseudonym.
I guess my question is... why bother?!? Especially if you know how it's going to end...
....sigh....
Thank goodness I still have two more weeks until I pull the dating-ban. This whole 'no guys for 18 weeks' was starting to get boring.... ;-)
Well... to be honest... I was a little, no, wait... a LOT bitter after the last guy. So much, in fact, that I began a "dating hiatus" to last for a period of 18 weeks.
There are currently TWO weeks left of said hiatus.
Considering it a personal triumph, I made it all the way to the New Year before I found myself involved with a boy. (And that was in international waters - so it doesn't count! Hey! My story - my rules.) Since then, I have been out with four different guys - none of which I have counted as impeding on the self-imposed dating break.
But not for lack of wanting to. Even International Waters Guy. There was even a piece of me that thought maybe even he could be something... But, alas, that is the hopeless romantic in me. The naive girl who, deep down, really does want to believe that, eventually, one of these first dates will become my last. However, THAT part of me... is pretty frickin' buried - because, the rest of me... always has one foot out the door...
So I guess we'll begin with IWGuy. He was "my type" and if you know anything about my "type", then you know that I pretty much date identical guys, physically speaking. I'm not exaggerating either. They're all long-lost brothers or something, I swear. God bless my family and friends for even pretending to think they're not all the same person! (The sad part is that I didn't start dating that "type" until Jim. Grrr. Prior to him, I was an equal-opportunity dater.)
So, yeah, anyway, back to IWGuy.
Cute? Check.
Personality? Fabulous.
Fatal flaw? Georgia-bound. Which is apparently enough for me to write him off completely, even though he seemed to hope (and try) otherwise.
Where have I heard this before? The Brit. (Ooh! Another story I should share soon!)
Then there was Guy A (mid-January)
Cute? Check. But, sooooooo not my type! (Perhaps this is a good thing?!?!)
Personality? Amazing. What didn't we talk about!?
Fatal flaw? Wanderlust. The 'not my type-ness'. Either one.
Where have I heard this before? The New Guy (Who should hence-forth be known as The Tool. Or maybe by his real name... because some people should not have the privilege of anonymity.)
Guy B (circa Valentine's)
Cute? Check. Totally my type.
Personality? The female version of me. (Don't worry, you read that correctly. I said female. And I consider myself very feminine.)
Fatal flaw? (see personality)
Where have I heard this before? High school boyfriend, Stan.
Guy C (end of Feb/currently???)
Cute? Check. In a 'not totally my type, but I'm sure everyone else would think he was/is' sort of way.
Personality? Foreign. Need I say more?
Fatal flaw? (see Guy D)
Where have I heard this before? Mr. Perfect
Guy D (most current... in theory.)
Cute? Check plus!. ;-)
Personality? Amazing. (Who knew that sweet and nice could describe someone I'D like!?!)
Fatal flaw? Newly single.
Where have I heard this before? The Minister. (Good lord, I've got to catch you all up!!)
The long and short of it is... I am 99% sure Guy D will replay The Minister's scenario... and I can't fall back to Guy C (as there was no going back to Mr. Perfect after Brett. Or for those of you too lazy to look back, who would want a hamburger after having filet mignon? Even if that hamburger did have a ridiculously sexy accent... yum.)
So, yes, fellow Advil-ODers, it may sound like I am just super-jaded and am looking for flaws so as not to get attached. But, seriously, EVERY scenario has happened to me before. None of this is new! (ummm.... note to self: STOP DATING - you're starting to repeat stories!) It would be one thing if I am comparing every situation to one stupid guy who broke my heart way-back-when... Or if I am comparing them to mythical friend-of-a-friend stories I heard third-hand... But, no. This is old hat.
It seems like the guys I meet lately are just SSDP - same situation, different pseudonym.
I guess my question is... why bother?!? Especially if you know how it's going to end...
....sigh....
Thank goodness I still have two more weeks until I pull the dating-ban. This whole 'no guys for 18 weeks' was starting to get boring.... ;-)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Caribbean Tales...
So the new guy is no more per his parting words that if he left tonight, that was the end.
To quote Paramore, "maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. I've always lived like this... keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now, I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.... because none of it was ever worth the risk."
Along with being completely head over heels for the new guy, I've been privy to the few woodwork guys who've come forth during the theoretical K-Going-Out-of-Business-Sale who've professed their undying love to me, etc.
Why haven't I gone for them? Why have I chosen to stick around for the guy who's not sure after a month whether or not I'm girlfriend material?
Why do I listen to said guy contemplate whether I even rank up with such a title when others would bend over backwards for such? (or so I've heard.) :-)
I've been content being my island thus far.... looks like it's time for more Caribbean tales. Haha :-)
To quote Paramore, "maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. I've always lived like this... keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now, I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.... because none of it was ever worth the risk."
Along with being completely head over heels for the new guy, I've been privy to the few woodwork guys who've come forth during the theoretical K-Going-Out-of-Business-Sale who've professed their undying love to me, etc.
Why haven't I gone for them? Why have I chosen to stick around for the guy who's not sure after a month whether or not I'm girlfriend material?
Why do I listen to said guy contemplate whether I even rank up with such a title when others would bend over backwards for such? (or so I've heard.) :-)
I've been content being my island thus far.... looks like it's time for more Caribbean tales. Haha :-)
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